tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
