I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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