I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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