I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize