P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
