Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
