He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
