we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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