he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
