He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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