You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
