i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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