Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
