Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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