Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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