Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my shit smells like andre
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
