Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
