It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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