bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
