gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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