I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
