Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
