I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
