operation harelip BJ is a go
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
