Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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