i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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