Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
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Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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