i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
