hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
