you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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