she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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