Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
