OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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