You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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