And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
