At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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