I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
