just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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