Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
