Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
