we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
