Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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