I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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