I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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