the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just found a bag of teeth...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
