My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize