someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize