Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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