JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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