Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
