we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my poor anus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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