Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
