D3 body, D1 cock
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
