**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
