dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
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The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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