apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
