hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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