I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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