No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
