I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
