I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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