so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found your dick twin last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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