You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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