Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
