Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I want a musical about memes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
